Hooray! After only four years on YouTube, Better Than The Machine has officially passed 3,000 subscribers on our YouTube channel!
Now all we need are 997,000 more subscribers and then we’ll almost be big time! Almost. Right now, we’re just a little bit less popular than all those 13-year-old kids who just got on YouTube last week and only post rants about how they’re not more popular on YouTube, and we’re just a little bit more popular than Mayonnaise Hitler. No wait–what am I saying? No, we’re still way less popular than all of those people.
New Better Than The Machine videos are coming–don’t worry, we haven’t forgotten about you and your love for our videos. We’ve just been doing some deep soul searching in the remote caverns of our parents’ basements. At least that’s what I’ve been doing. I don’t know what the others have to say for themselves. I think I heard Matt Gallo mumbling something about Hare Krishna.
In our newest video, the battle between fifth graders and adults three times their size is finally settled! We pit youthful energy against life experience and very, very big muscles! Who will win? Watch Are You Stronger Than A 5th Grader and cheer on your favorite generation!
Are You Stronger Than A 5th Grader? was directed and edited by Ballard C. Boyd, guest stars Li’l Carlos (most recently exploited in our video The Sex Talk), and features Nancy Barbero.
Make sure to check back here (http://bttm.net) soon for our next brand new video!
Okay, I’ll admit we’re a little early for Mother’s Day. But it’s almost here and we just couldn’t wait to dedicate this video to the most important gals in our lives: our moms.
In this video, you’ll learn about what it’s like to be a single mother… of an adult cat. You’ll also learn what it’s like to be the boyfriend of of a single mother… of an adult cat. You know what, while we’re at it, we’ll just go ahead and dedicate this to all the mothers out there, no matter what kind of beasts your children may be.
“Sexy Cat Mom” was directed and edited by Ballard C. Boyd and guest starred Marcus Reynolds.
Make sure to keep an eye on bttm.net for our next brand new video! Also, we’ve got an announcement to make this week about a certain festival in New York City that showcases sketch comedy groups. And the story of a little girl who stole our logo… and how we dealt with her–only on bttm.net this week!
Great news: Bobby Fitzsimmons is back! Don’t worry if you don’t know him yet; consider this your introduction!
Bobby’s using a camera he found in the trash to vlog: today he answers some email. Maybe he’ll answer you in his next vlog if you leave him a note!
“Bobby Fitzsimmons’ Vlog: Episode 1″ was directed and edited by Ballard C. Boyd. It is based on the character created by Better Than The Machine and Will Nunziata.
Oh, and if you never saw Bobby’s first adventure as the good guy who saved everybody from the terrorism by seeing something and saying something back in 2007, take a look at our old video “See Something, Say Something”! It’s funny, but also kind of sad. Mostly funny.
Bobby’s going to have some more adventures soon, but before then, we’ve got some other hilarious videos on the burner that we can’t wait to show you! Make sure to check http://bttm.net soon, and don’t let the machine get you down!
Our sexy new “Med School Porn” video proves that while med school’s expensive, paying the bills can still be lots of fun! You might just be surprised at the lengths some people will go to:
“Med School Porn” was directed and edited by Ballard C. Boyd and guest stars our friend Rachel Popson, who is a great actor and an even better sport!
This video is Better Than The Machine’s 100th on YouTube!! That’s a helluva a lot of videos! Trust us, we have just enough fingers and toes between the five of us to count them all.
Enjoy “Med School Porn” (but, y’know… not too much… ahem) and remember to check bttm.net for our next video!
These days, between people losing their jobs, countries fighting endless wars, and Mother Nature fighting us at every turn, it hardly feels like there’s any good news anymore. Of course, you can try to change all that, but honestly, you’re just one tiny insignificant speck–what difference can you make? Wouldn’t it be easier just to embrace the bad news?
In this week’s brand new Better Than The Machine Iowa Training Film “How To Give Bad News,” we’ll teach you how to give bad news in a good way, or, if you’re so inclined, how to make things worse. Take a look:
“How To Give Bad News” was directed and edited by Ballard C. Boyd and it features our good friend Elisabeth Hansen.
Enjoy your newfound power, and make sure to check http://bttm.net next week for a brand new sketch comedy video from Better Than The Machine!
In the spirit of our newest video, “It’s St. Patrick’s Day!” raise your glass and have a drink with Better Than The Machine! Then have another, and another, and another one after that, and so on until you reach your desired state of inebriation.
“It’s St. Patrick’s Day!” was directed and edited by Ballard C. Boyd.
Enjoy the celebration, but make sure to sober up by next Monday, when we’ll be releasing a brand new video on bttm.net!
I’d like to thank people who clicked on our video in the hope that today would mysteriously be the day YouTube lets nudity and porn on their site. We owe our success to these angry, would-be masturbators.
-Carlos Cabrera
It’s official! Our popular 2007 video “Foreplay?” has passed two million views on YouTube, and shows no signs of slowing down. In the video, Paul unsuccessfully tries to seduce Christina, but comes off as a huge, huge creep. Really, just huge. I bet a lot of people wonder what sort of date must have occurred just before this scene that enabled such a creepy guy to get into this woman’s apartment. Or maybe that’s just me.
Take a look at that big ol’ number of views for yourself on the YouTube “Foreplay?” page. You can also watch “Foreplay?” a few more times below, as it jets towards three million views!
Very important note: do not attempt to use any of the techniques demonstrated in this video unless you’re looking to become a sexual pariah.
Juggling is an essential part of any job–whether you work with balls, pins, swords, torches, chainsaws or babies. Let Iowa Training Films show you how it’s done.
Directed and edited by Iowa Training Films newcomer Ballard C. Boyd.
Practice, practice, practice–and make sure to check http://bttm.net next Monday for a brand new video!
