While taking a walk last Thursday, I noticed a sign on the front door of a neighbor’s house that looked very familiar. Before I was run-off by six young toughs, I managed to capture this image of the sign:
Does it look familiar? It should! The image beneath the sexist message on this sign is clearly the “Don’t Cry, BTTM Guy” logo (see ‘Exhibit B’)!
Here are the two logos side by side. Even for me, it is almost impossible to tell which is the true BTTM logo and which is the counterfeit.
I immediately brought these pictures to Better Than The Machine’s money-grubbing law team–Carlos, Matt, and Paul–who, in turn, immediately saw a lot of money to be grubbed in this case. First, we’re suing the leader of this little gang. We can’t release her name because of her age, but here’s a picture of the little copyright infringer. Don’t let her “cutey pie” face fool you, either–those fists really pack a wallop (it’s true what they say: girls do grow faster).
Next, if the case against her goes as well as they’re predicting, our lawyers see a lot of potential in suing at least the five other girls who beat me up who ran me off last week. Those “Li’l Law Degree” backseat “Tyke Tycoons” activity boxes I bought for Carlos, Matt, and Paul to play with on road trips to stop them from killing each other are already paying for themselves!
Unfortunately, we had to take preemptive measures and lock Christina in BTTM’s tall, tall tower. This was done for two reasons: 1) She might catch wind of our plan to sue a group of little girls and talk us out of it, as she usually manages to do when we come up with a good plan, and 2) This little “group” of girls that doesn’t allow men or boys into it… it sounds like some sort of a cult of misandry. Sorry Christina, we’re saving you from this man hating cult by keeping you locked up against your will. You have no reason to hate men; none at all.
We’ll keep you updated on the status of our frivolous lawsuit. The verdict is looking more and more like a shoe-in. Those girls are going to have to turn over every last penny from their shattered piggy banks, every dollar traded on their behalf by fairies on the tooth market, and every $10 bill sent to them by dear, sweet Granny for their birthdays! And they’re gonna have to come up with a totally new logo!
You know what this kind of reminds me of? That time The Kellogg Company filed a dubious copyright infringement complaint against us, a teeny tiny group that never wanted to be–and never was–a threat to their company or image. What kind of organization uses all that time and all those resources to make an infinitesimally smaller group that none of their consumers have ever heard of or even care about redo their work? I’m glad they’re not the ones pushing us around this time; those guys were jerks.
–Reid.
